Hello, coming at you in September. I know it’s been a while, but I decided to take August off from writing on my blog as I have been on vacation a very long way from home. That being said however, I have spent most of my time away in a really dark place. Not only is it difficult to be away from your normal routine, it’s also hard being away from your partner, having a sufficient amount of alone time, eating proper food, and getting enough sleep. I have been back to back on aeroplanes with a lack of energy and it’s only put my mind more into overdrive.
Before I left for my trip, I promised myself that I would “take OCD for the ride”. But I’m no liar, and therefore it’s evident that I did not take OCD for the ride this whole trip. In fact, without my weekly therapy sessions, halfway through my trip I had completely forgotten that I even had OCD and spent most of my time worrying that things were going to be like this forever. It’s a funny thing, really, that when you’re not getting the right treatment or you’re away from your normal life, you forget that you’re eventually coming back to stability. My obsessions changed, and they continue to change regularly and it’s tough to keep up, but this is just a friendly reminder to you all that through recovery there will be really good days and then there will be really bad days. But you’re still heading towards the top!
While I spent most of my time crying on this trip, I do give myself some credit for going outside of my comfort zone and at least doing my best to have an amazing time. It may not have been an ideal situation, but I still can truthfully say I’ve made some amazing memories in the past month. That being said, for those who are currently travelling and feel discouraged for being unable to “take OCD for the ride” I have one piece of advice: CUT YOURSELF SOME SLACK.
I was way too hard on myself to ensure this holiday would be nothing other than perfect and my expectations were well and truly not exceeded. Having those standards for yourself only adds more pressure. We need to accept that our minds are still not functioning in the right way, and therefore it is unnecessary to add more stress on what is already a stressful situation in itself. I figured that being away would be like some sort of magic pill that made everything go away; boy was I wrong. In fact, it made everything a lot harder, and because I had those expectations that this trip would change my life, I ended up feeling even worse about myself than before I had left.
I have still been actively posting on my Instagram page, which you can follow at @ocd.memes.and.stuff where I post funny memes about terrible situations. But for now, I just wanted to check in to give you all who may be travelling or have a trip planned, a friendly reminder to take each day as it comes and to be easy on yourself. I will continue to post on here once I’ve settled in back home.